Easing Separation Anxiety: Preparing Your Pet for Your Absence

School's almost out—and that means summer vacations, travel plans, and disrupted routines for everyone, including your pets. Whether you're heading out of town for a few weeks or just two days, being away from you more than usual can leave your pet confused, stressed, or just plain anxious.

Why Pets Struggle When You Leave

Let’s be honest: some pets couldn’t care less when you walk out the door. Others act like their world just ended. It’s not always clinical separation anxiety—it’s often just stress from change. Maybe their feeding schedule gets weird. Maybe their favorite person is suddenly missing. Maybe someone new is feeding them, walking them, or letting them out, and it’s throwing everything off.

Here’s how that stress can show up:

• Destructive behavior (chewing, scratching, digging)

• Whining, barking, or meowing more than usual

• Accidents in the house

• Pacing or acting restless

• Loss of appetite

• Seeming “off” even when you’re home, or giving you the cold shoulder when you get back

Whether it’s mild uneasiness or full-on panic, your goal as a pet parent is probably the same: to make your pet feel safe, secure, and confident even when things change.

Pre-Departure Routines That Help

One of the best ways to reduce stress is to make your “leaving” feel… boring. No dramatic goodbyes. No sad faces. Just calm, predictable routines that signal, “This is normal. You’ll be fine.” If you're home a lot, get them more used to you being gone. Go on outings without them even if you don't have to. Gradually increase the time that you're gone. When it comes time for your big departure day, here are some things that can help:

• Take them for a walk or have extended playtime before you go. It burns energy and helps them settle.

• Give a long-lasting treat or puzzle toy. Let your departure be the start of something fun, not something scary.

• Try calming aids like pheromone diffusers. Adaptil for dogs, Feliway for cats. These products mimic natural comfort smells and signals.

• Turn on soft music or white noise. Helps block out triggers like delivery trucks or neighbor dogs.

You can also use desensitization and counterconditioning, which means teaching your pet that your “leaving cues” (like grabbing your keys or putting on shoes) don’t mean panic. Pair those actions with treats or playtime instead. It takes some practice, but it works.

Help Your Pet Feel at Home Wherever They Are

Whether your pet is staying home with a sitter or spending time at a boarding facility, the space they stay in should feel safe, familiar, and comforting. A few small touches can make a big difference in how well they adjust while you're away.

If your pet is staying at home:

• Leave an unwashed t-shirt or blanket that smells like you

• Set up their favorite bed or crate in a quiet, cozy area

• Rotate toys to keep things interesting

• Play soft background music, white noise, or even leave the TV on to mimic your usual environment

If your pet is going to a boarding facility:

• Ask if you can bring familiar items like their bed, toys, or something with your scent

• Choose a facility that offers enrichment activities and quiet rest areas, not just kennels

• See if they play calming music or provide one-on-one time to help pets settle in

• Share your pet’s usual feeding, potty, and bedtime routines so the staff can stick to what your pet knows

The more familiar the surroundings and schedule, the more comfortable your pet will be, no matter where they are. And when they feel safe, they’re much more likely to stay calm, eat well, and rest while you’re away.

Making the Decision: Should You Hire a Pet Sitter or Board Your Pet at a Kennel or Vet?

When you’re away overnight or longer, choosing the right care setup can make all the difference for your peace of mind AND your pet’s comfort.

Here’s a quick comparison between sitters and boarding. Keep in mind that whatever choice you make, you need to do your homework on that particular sitter of facility- even if it is at your own vet:

Pet Sitters

• Come to your home (or stay there) so your pet’s environment stays the same

• Ideal for pets who don’t like change, are shy, or have medical needs

• Can stick to your pet’s routine and offer more personalized care

Boarding Facilities

• Are a better fit for pets who enjoy socializing or need more structured supervision

• Often include playgroups, enrichment activities, and 24/7 monitoring

• Can be overwhelming for anxious pets, especially if the facility is loud or chaotic

What’s right for your pet depends on their personality, routine, health, and comfort with new environments. The goal is to reduce stress, not add to it.

Dr. Zoo’s Take: Match the Plan to the Pet

Veterinarian and behavior expert Dr. Aresue Shokrollahi-McClain (aka Dr. Zoo) joined us on the podcast a few episodes back to talk about this exact topic. Her biggest advice? Don’t force a one-size-fits-all solution.

Some pets do best with slow transitions and quiet settings. Others need distraction, structure, or extra stimulation in a facility with other pets around. Dr. Zoo recommends combining environmental support (like toys and safe spaces), behavioral techniques (like desensitization), and, in some cases, anxiety-reducing meds prescribed by your vet.

And please, don’t get upset with your pet if they struggle. It only makes things worse. Instead, reward calm behavior and support them through the change.

Questions to Ask Any Caregiver (Pet Sitter or Boarding)

No matter which route you choose, ask these questions before trusting someone with your pet:

• Have you worked with pets who get anxious or need a little extra care?

• What does your daily routine look like?

• How do you handle emergencies or medical issues? Even better, ask them to tell you about a time they faced an emergency with a pet in their care. What did they do and how did it turn out?

• Will my pet get one-on-one attention or be in a group?

• What enrichment do you offer beyond basic care?

• Can I see references or reviews?

• Are you insured and bonded?

As always - trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it.

The Bottom Line: Know Your Pet

At the end of the day, it’s not about what’s easiest for you—it’s about what makes your pet feel safest and most secure.

• Does your pet get overwhelmed in noisy places?
• Do they love other dogs (or cats), or do they avoid them?
• Do they thrive on routine, or adapt easily to change?

Answering those questions can help you make the right call. And if you’re still not sure? Talk to your vet or listen to what your pet is trying to tell you.

Want More Help Choosing What’s Best?

In our episode “Pet Sitter or Boarding? What’s Best?”, we go deeper into:

• How to assess your pet’s personality and needs

• What red flags to watch for when choosing care

• Real-life examples of what works—and what doesn’t

• Dr. Zoo’s advice for supporting pets through changes

It’s an easy listen with a bunch of “aha” moments for pet parents like you who want to do right by their animals. You can find it now on Muddy Paws and Hairballs here:"Pet Sitter or Boarding? What's Best?" or check it out on your favorite podcast app.